"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
