I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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