i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
