i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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