So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
