She's JV to your varsity
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
