dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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