I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
