This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I understand Curling. That high.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
