so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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