I puked a lego.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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