uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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