She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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