white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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