I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
