WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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