oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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