I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
