As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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