I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
