I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize