oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
