They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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