Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
