physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
