But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
