He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
