I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
