kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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