I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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