Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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