Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
