I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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