you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
