imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
