I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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