i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
