bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
