there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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