Your face is a jimmy john
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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