Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
