I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
