OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
