apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize
