So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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