I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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