I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
