dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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