I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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