I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
