just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
