Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
