We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Randomize
