Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
