You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize