shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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