did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
