You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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