Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
