I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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