she looked like the before picture.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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